Not Good Bye, but See You (Day 11, EE, Kogo's Yurt)

[Matsu Kogo]

Kogo's eyes close, as he steps closer, as if trying to shut out the world. Her arms tense, holding herself tight, the muscles standing out briefly under the sleeves of her kimono. "What you gave me...I cannot speak of now. It is not proper nor right, though it was real. " She swallows. "I....My thoughts have not changed since I last spoke to you. But our situations have. Though it was known, now it is final. " She looks at him, her eyes direct, honest as she can be. "Is this what you truly wish? I can refuse you very little. But think before you answer."

I do not know if it will stop with something so simple.

[Shinjo Akil]

He considered, then simply nodded and threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly. His chin set up on her shoulder, sighing lightly as he held her. "I'm so sorry," is all he manages to get out.

[Matsu Kogo]

Kogo freezes, not expecting the whole heartedness of the gesture. She takes a moment to respond, but then glides her arms gently around him, as if he is somehow breakable if she holds too tight. As she hears his words, her arms tighten around him and her head comes down to his shoulder, inhaling a bit of his scent as she holds him. Her arms tighten, as she seeks control of herself. "I....I am sorry as well. I am sorry for so many things Akil-san." Her breath speeds, as her control begins to fracture. She holds it and him tight, afraid to let go.

[Shinjo Akil]

"You have nothing to apologize for," he shook his head, his breath staying light.

[Matsu Kogo]

She shakes her head, trying to unclench her hands from behind his back and failing miserably. "I am sorry for my lack of control. If there is anything I can apologize for, it is that." Her voice shakes briefly. "You have tested it to its limit. I did not know...." The sentence trails and she shakes her head.

She takes a deep breath and pries her hands from his back. "Go. Please. Be happy. I...will find my way. But I will not forget you." She laughs shakily. "Your lovely bride has agreed to correspond with me. I am not sure who it will be more of a punishment for. But if you wish to communicate with me, she will know how to find me."

She looks up at him, her heart in her eyes, her control hanging by a thread. "Know that I will think of you. That is all I can say. Anything else...is beyond us now."

[Shinjo Akil]

He let go as well, stepping back and nodding. "I will be happy." He smiled, despite all of this, "happy to have been here, to have had these moments. And happy for the future ahead of me." He took a breath, walking over towards the tent flap. "I will never forget you. And I will try to find time to write, I promise," So long as it doesn't hurt too much...

His hand grasped the flat, but he didn't turn leave yet, turning his head. "Sayo..." his head shook in that moment, "No. I do not wish this to be good bye. I will see you again, I promise. So until then... see you later." He kept a look of her for one more long moment, then...

/exit unless stopped

[Matsu Kogo]

And what I will be? Who knows?

She holds her hands tight to her side, feeling the urge to catch him, hold him, keep him, somehow change this future rolling out in front of her. But it is not to be. This has been rolling towards her for days, only her stubbornness keeping her from acknowledging it.

"I...I will not be staying with my family past spring. Come spring, I will be returning to Unicorn lands, to marry. " She looks down at the ground, not quite trusting what she may see. "So, when this one sees you next...She may look somewhat different."

Hearing his words of goodbye, she does not seek to stop him with her hands. She only hopes for a last acknowledgement, before he vanishes.

Her choice is her own. But she cannot claim he did not influence it, along with many of the others she has met.

[Shinjo Akil]

Well, that did stop him. He looked to her for a long moment, his smile growing returning for just a moment. "...You will look amazing on a horse," is all he can think to offer her before he slips away.

[Matsu Kogo]

Kogo watches him go, holding herself in place til she is sure he has gone. Then Noburu slips into the tent and she clutches the lion tight, her shoulders shaking as she seeks control of herself.

Regret is a sin. Regret is a sin. Fear is a sin. Regret is a sin. Fear is a sin. I am a lake...the clouds pass over. I am a lake, the clouds pass over.

But it is too much for even her training. Noburu curls around her, like a mother around an injured cub and the proud Lion weeps, as quietly as she can manage.

The flap blows shut. It is quiet outside.

/scene