A quiet conversation (D10, EM, Closed)

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

"I don't personally have a problem sharing things. It's just that there are certain levels of intimacy that I don't consider appropriate during an even like this. Were we not part of an even meant to match with future spouses I'd probably be far more forward with the person I wanted as a spouse."

[Matsu Kogo]

Kogo smiled at this, slightly relieved and amused. "You would be? That is something to know at least. This reserve is not your usual nor your desire, but rather, a constraint the miai has laid upon you." She looks at him, a tinch of fire in her eyes. "I wonder what it would be like if that reserve was not present. I can only imagine right now."

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

"I think if that reserve was not present you may not have the same appreciation for me that you do now. You likely would have found my forwardness far from acceptable," he replies with a chuckle. "Certainly when we were first getting to know each other here there were aspects of my personality that did not mesh well immediately. And that was with some shown restraint."

[Matsu Kogo]

Kogo blushes a bit, her cheeks lightly pinking. "Ahh...it is true that I was slightly...unprepared for the differing styles of courtship between our Clans. Having spent little time outside Lion lands, I suspect I might be considered overly cautious by some of the others here." She looked at him. "But it was not I did not enjoy...your courtship or your friendly ways. It was more...an unsureness. I did not know what one does in those situations." She looks at him, her eyes intent. "I hope I did not offend you with my ways."

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

"Of course not. It was a learning opportunity for me.". He reaches across the table to take one of her hands. "Thank you."

[Matsu Kogo]

Her face relaxes and the smile brightens as he takes her hand. She continues holding it. "It is I who should thank you, for your patience with me." She thinks for a moment. "You have taught me a great deal during our time together. Our conversations have changed how I see the world, even in such a short time. You push me to new ideas, new thoughts, new challenges. You...broaden my world, and I see it like I have come over a rise and see the world stretched in front of me." She squeezes his hand, her sincerity in her eyes. "Even if we are not meant to be wed, I will never forget my time with you. And I will be glad for any woman lucky enough to have your hand. She is receiving a true gift: one who will always bring the sun with him."

She blushes, but she does not pull away, her eyes intent and serious through each word as she keeps hold of his hand.

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

"I thank you for such nice words. It is my hope to bring light to the life of whoever I do end up with. And to those friends I've made as well. Life is better when there is light in it."

[Matsu Kogo]

She smiles at him, nodding. "As always, you speak wisdom." She releases his hand, not wishing to make him uncomfortable.

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

He didn't seem uncomfortable at all with it. "Who all have you met here that could be a potential match other than myself?" he asks curiously.

[Matsu Kogo]

Kogo thinks carefully before replying, her brow furrowed. "Mostly those of the Shinjo family have caught my eye and been quite companionable. Shinjo Kemuri-san and I could make a match of it I suspect. Our skills and thoughts for the future mesh well and we seem to balance each other. I have enjoyed my time with him." She takes a breath, thinking. " Others of your family have been friendly and sociable with myself, but have not indicated their interest beyond friendship. " (At least, as far as she is aware)

She pauses, wondering if she will be honest at last with someone. But it feels wrong somehow, to keep this to herself with such an honest man. Even if he had not spoken of his meeting with the Onyx Champion. One must focus on one's own actions.

"There is another who has caught my eye, but with the standings being the way they are, it will likely come to nothing. He has been honest with me however and I hold no ill will towards him for the way of the Fortunes." She swallows. "Shinjo Akil-san is a noble man and will make Doji Fukawa-san a good husband." Her face is under control, but there is a slight strain in her hands still visible, if one is looking closely.

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

As far as he knew, his meeting with the Onyx champion was nothing. Nobody had ever really explained to him the importance of the enemy and all he did there was be prepared for the off chance things turned violent and cast insults and doubt at the man. For him it was not something he really cared much about so it was never really on his mind.

"I hope they will be happy then," he replies with a nod. "It seems it's a difficult thing for you though. Did something happen between the two of you?"

[Matsu Kogo]

Kogo notes that her self control has not been sufficient to hide her feelings. She considers being fully honest, but she does not wish to shame Shinjo Akil or cast any difficulities on his upcoming marriage.

She settles for a middle path of sorts. "It is primarily that the Lion and the Crane have a history of enmity. By marrying into the Crane clan, it means there is little likelihood I will see him again after this miai, unless by some happenstance." She frowns slightly. "It is also frustrating that I have been unable to excel in any of the contests at the miai and therefore, precluded from choice."

She looks up, her eyes intent and serious. "I am prepared to do my duty, in any case. But...I find myself wishing that I had more choice about who is to walk beside me for my life. It is a child's dream, but it dies hard." She says, with a twist of her face showing her disgust towards herself at her weakness.

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

"Not many things will change with the event tonight, though minds can change and the right or wrong thing be said during the day and even tomorrow before the selections are made. It isn't over until it's over. But regardless of how things turn out, as I've said before, I simply hope for your happiness," he replies with a soft tone. "If there is one thing that I would ask you for, it is that you do the best you can to be happy no matter what comes to pass. Some you may not see again, others may join rival clans and there is also a chance that you will see a few regularly depending on duties that are assigned. Nothing is final until it is over."

[Matsu Kogo]

She nods, trying to listen intently and let his words flow over her instead of focusing on her frustration that has risen up, snapping like a shark from the deeps. "As always Monkh-san, you impart a wisdom I cannot match. I am grateful for it and for your good wishes for myself. I offer the same to you in return. " She looks at him, her expressing complex and shifting, never quite settling on a given emotion, but running the gamut. "I intend to do my best. But I had intended to do so this entire miai." She sits, her face furrowed and slightly stark. "Your advice has always been of value to me. But I am reminded of one last quote from Leadership that I will share with you. 'It is not difficult to find good advice, though it may be difficult to listen to it.' " She looks down at the ground and then shakes her head, trying to clear it. "I have never appreciated that quote quite so much as this moment."

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

He chuckles a bit at that. "While that's true, there is a difference between the two situations. You promised yourself you'd do your best at the miai, but you shouldn't think of marriage in the same way. You won't be competing against dozens of other individuals in your marriage to find happiness. You'll be sharing a life with someone who likely does not want to be unhappy. I'm sure that you'll be able to excel at living a life with your husband Kogo-san. That's something I don't doubt for a moment."