(Day 7, EE) Blind Spot (Misa's Room, Closed)

[Moto Butaj]

He looks at her bewildered. On one hand, she's right, this is what he should be doing. On the other hand, is it what he is now doing with her? Hopefully this is not how she thinks he does! He finds it revolting and grips her hand to bring it up to his lips, then docks them on her knuckles, looking at her with puppy eyes, something she can't see. But then, he has an enlightening thought, maybe this is how it should be done. He returns her hand to his chest, then places his own over her heart in symmetric way and attunes to its beating. He says nothing.

[Tonbo Misa]

Misa was silent a moment as well, just letting Butaj so as he would with her hand. As he placed her hand over his heart, and then his own over hers, she turned her hand over to lace her thin fingers with his own. "I am certain... that no one else in this world makes your mind race in such deep, confusing thought as I do Butaj-kun. I hope that someday... you find your own answers, without another's help."

[Moto Butaj]

"How will Butaj do that without you near to make his thoughts spinning?" Her words have some sense of finality to them, and that rags his breath, as if his lungs suddenly changed into a staircase and the air was a ball falling down from them. "If there is no-one else like you for Butaj?"

[Tonbo Misa]

Misa put a hand to Butaj's cheek and turned his head to look into her sightless eyes, to see her soft, comforting smile there. "You'll have someone there for you Butaj-kun, I can guarantee that. And I will make certain that person will make your thoughts continue to race on."

[Moto Butaj]

Having no other choice, he accepts this ambiguous answer, though in his heart he knows what this ambiguity means. Is it not what he wanted, by letting himself fall in love with Yuki? So why his eyes itch now, now that he looks at her face speaking about things bringing sadness with a smile so warm and kind? He says nothing, just squeezes her hand.

[Tonbo Misa]

Misa said nothing else in reply as well, just leaned against him. She hadn't decided anything, the talk was with a purpose tomorrow morning after all. Still, that was in part why she was silent now, just pressed to Butaj. There were some things she didn't want him to forget.

[Moto Butaj]

He is indeed deep in his own Butajous thinking but his arms respond immediately with an embrace as she leans in.

[Tonbo Misa]

Misa finally spoke, though she didn't move. "My room will always be open to you Butaj-kun, if you have more worries, or better, more songs to share. No matter what Asako-san and I discuss tomorrow, that will never change."

[Moto Butaj]

"Butaj wants to come back with songs rather than worries. But right now it's just.." He embraces her close and leans with the side of his face against her side. "It's hard to let go. Especially that much of Misa says feels final. Butaj feels like if he leaves now it won't ever be the same when he returns."

[Tonbo Misa]

"It is never the same Butaj-kun... but that is why I make my promise." She stroked his hair with a hand. "So worrisome... my poor brave Moto..."

[Moto Butaj]

"Quite yours, that's true." He seeks refuge for his face in her hair, closing his eyes, nuzzling and kissing her ear and neck. "And part of Butaj has stayed with you each time he has left this room, your side, your embrace. It will stay now too. It can't be helped, about the horse and the apples."

[Tonbo Misa]

Misa just smiled gently and kept up her stroking of his hair. "I know. It seems I've given you a bit of wisdom in turn to stick with you."

[Moto Butaj]

"Is wisdom always so... sundering? Butaj knows what he wants is well-meant but also knows why he shouldn't want it." He dares not make any further move. The line between his deep commitment to Misa and his exploding affection for Yuki is so fine that it is so easy to break faith now. He holds and kisses her tenderly instead, making no advances on the collar of her kimono.

[Tonbo Misa]

Misa kisses back for a long moment before she pulls back a little and nods. "The more one knows, the more one can doubt. Sometimes it is said the most ignorant man is the most blissful."

[Moto Butaj]

"Butaj thinks it's true." He obediently lets her pull back. "But being ignorant is very selfish. Because Butaj didn't even know he was. And now he begins to understand. What he still doesn't get what is selfish and what is selfless in this situation."