Where you are [Kogo's Yurt, D6, EM]

[Matsu Kogo]

She smiles and nods, thinking I hope you will consider it with your wife, or that may be disappointing for them. .

"Those rumors changed nothing of my opinion of you Shinjo-san. You have always been the soul of propriety in our interactions and utterly respectful of my honor and your own."

She thinks for a moment. "I think perhaps, knowing how little time there is, people may be getting carried away with their desires. Everything is so precarious and depends on so many outside forces. I wonder if, in other circumstances, our noble brethren would behave differently."

Though I am definitely curious how Bayushi's usual sense of propriety was overcome. Then...yesterday...he seemed more intense. Perhaps something else is driving him.

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

"The Unicorn are usually not overly... restrained. But there is a time and place for such things. At least wait until after selections have happened, no? When you know you're not bedding the future spouse of someone else and potentially causing a problem a few months down the road."

[Matsu Kogo]

The blush is definitely around her ears and spreading. "It is true, there could be large problems down the road if individuals allow their passions to guide them overly." She moved to a slightly less dangerous subject. "I was surprised at the rumor of two individuals who were not Unicorn engaging in such...activities. I would think that would be a dangerous rumor to hear flying, and cause wondering of whether this sort of arrangement might continue after marriage."

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

"Just as bad as two Unicorn as well. They seem to be missing the point of this miai," he agrees with a nod, then smiles playfully at her. "I mean, if I can muster the self control in you presence I can't see how anyone else can't do the same. I clearly have it the most difficult."

[Matsu Kogo]

She laughs, using the fan to cover the broadness of it for a moment. "Oh Shinjo-san, you are too much. I am hardly the prettiest maiden at this camp and you know it. I could say powerful, I could say strong, but you would be hard pressed to convince that you would consider Doji-san with her ethereal beauty or Usagi-san with her purple eyes and long hair less of a beauty than me. They are classic and lovely. I...I am a Matsu first. Matsu-dono was not concerned with such things."

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

"And what of a man that is just as attracted to strength as he is to beauty?" he asks. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and many things in this world are lovelier than they may seem when you take the time to learn of them."

[Matsu Kogo]

She smiles. "Perhaps he might find me more compelling then. Though the Usagi has some capacities at jiujitsu, I will note. She has just never been formally trained. A man who enjoys teaching might enjoy teaching his young bride such a thing and not prefer a woman who is confident in her own skill."

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

"Perhaps. It's not an unappealing thought," he admits, with a nod. "But that is something we won't know for certain for some days."

[Matsu Kogo]

Kogo hides a moment of disappointment well, reaching back to the walls of her yurt, to place her fan back down. So he still considers her an option? Ahh well. It was worth an attempt to learn more.

"It is true. I have never wished for both time to speed forward and slow down, all at the same time. I cannot decide which I want more."

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

"The truth of the matter is, I do not wish to be the one making the choice. It is a difficult prospect. I cannot imagine how it might feel... the thought of it tightens my heart. It's something I think more about each day that passes here. But if you do well enough and find me deserving then I can tell you I'd be very happy."

[Matsu Kogo]

Kogo sighs internally, slightly frustrated. Do Shinjo men just not like choosing? Its enough to drive a Matsu mad. They praise and flirt and make all sorts of statements, but then they do not act. Perhaps they are softhearted, like me, and do not like causing pain. However, this is its own kind of pain.

"I suspect it is the kindness that is in your heart that causes that feeling for you. It is difficult to imagine making such a choice. Inevitably, someone in the miai will not be content." She pauses. "But I have found that sometimes, fearing an outcome makes it more problematic. Facing it head on, though difficult, makes it less concerning than avoiding it. For in the mind, a thought that is not understood only seems to grow larger and more concerning by the minute. Whereas a thought that is understood, it can be categorized and dealt with accordingly."

She looks at him. "I am glad to know you would be happy if I chose you though. Your honesty is pleasing to me."

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

"And you said I was the sage," he says to her with a smile. "It's definitely something I'm going to have to put thought to. Because if the time comes that I must make my decision I want to be able to make it with certainty."

[Matsu Kogo]

She smiles at him, with a softness to it. " "Certainty would likely be useful for all parties concerned at the end of this miai. That way, hearts are not bruised in the process. Even with the best of intentions and the kindest of hearts, damage can be done by indecision."

And well I know it. But another's lack of choice is not my concern. I know my way.

"Though the Fates do have their own hands in the game as do the Kami. I would not tempt their teasing by speaking of certainties."

[Shinjo Monkhbaatar]

"I do have to admit though, that I somehow feel a bit disingenuous about it as well though. I know that even if I were found to be considered a poor choice and not be taken as a spouse I would be fine with it. I'd understand that it wasn't meant to be. Yet for some reason I can't bring myself to view others as accepting. Perhaps that is what I need to come to terms with. Perhaps it is just an overly large ego on my part that convinces me that by not selecting someone it will hurt their feelings. We are, after all, supposed to be adults. But feelings are what they are, even if we are supposed to keep them tucked away and out of sight."

[Matsu Kogo]

She listens intently, enjoying that he is sharing himself with her. "We are, but I think, even as adults, we can feel as though we have been passed over. I think you are not unrealistic in thinking some might be unhappy with being passed over." She smiles. "We cannot all be as understanding and flexible as you Shinjo-san. The history of our Empire proves that." She thinks for a moment. "But I know, for myself, the thing that would be most concerning to me would be the feeling of being lied to. Or promised something that was later taken away." She pauses. "When words are not clear, there can be an assumption of promises or shared ideas. One can harm another without even realizing or intending."

"Perhaps certainty is not the word that I search for, but rather, communication. That way, no party feels that they have been cheated or lied to or that somehow, a friendship that seemed...important...was thrown away for gain."