[Day 4 Early Night] To Jigoku with Yume-Do

[Matsu Nintoku]

He sighed as he leaned back and looked at the ceiling. "Heroism is not what people think," he started to say as he took another sip. "Tales and songs gloss over what truly happens in war and what is needed to do to be a hero."

[Ide Amaya]

She nods. "That is true," she says softly. Letting him tell the story at his own pace.

[Matsu Nintoku]

The Lion clearly didn't want to say much; he already had revealed way too much to Khulun and while he felt he had lifted a part of his weight, the remorse for his revelation had been soon to follow.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, lowering his eyes. "It is a burden I must carry alone. Ide-san is a gentle and caring spirit but she does not understand - nay, I hope she doesn't - the true nature of war."

"It would be unpolite for me to unload such a burden, to open a door to such heinous nightmares, by doing so. I hope Ide-san understands."

[Ide Amaya]

"My shoulders may be small, Matsu-Sama, but they are strong as those of any Unicorn. Nothing I have seen in my short life can compare to what you have been through, but I do not believe your nightmares will infect me like a disease of insects that bite. Believe that I am strong enough, if you believe nothing else of me."

Alone in his yurt, her voice revealed greater emotion. It rose slightly, earnest and impassioned. "Already I have told you that I will not pressure you. Yet, I have seen the blessing of your smile, and to see it again there is little I wouldn't give. So use me as you wish," and she is innocently unaware of the less appropriate implications of her wording, "or do not."

"If you wish me to leave, say go. If you wish that I favour you with a pretty song by the firelight, say sing. If you wish me to watch over you in your sleep, to scatter the cobwebs of your nightmares when they come, say stay. I accept your will."

[Matsu Nintoku]

He reached towards her though stopped before touching her "I am sorry," he lowered his eyes once more, his tone sheepish. "I do not want you to leave Ide-san."

"It is hard for me to share this," he looked at his cup before finishing it.

[Ide Amaya]

Softening, "the important things are hard, but I am your servant in this." Less bound by the strictness of Rokugan tradition, she places a hand on his sleeve. Against the Lion's strong arm it is small and soft, delicate as bird. "I know it cannot compare, but would you like for me to tell you what I see in my darkest dreams?"

[Matsu Nintoku]

His heart skipped a beat when she reached for his sleeve. "You are also assailed by nightmares?" he spoke in a low tone, his eyes set on the petite Ide.

[Ide Amaya]

"Not so brutally as you, Nintoku-Sama," her voice is soft, just enough to carry over the steady deluge that hemmed them in and cut them off from the rest of the world, but there is nothing weak in her tone.

[Matsu Nintoku]

"Do you wish to share them?" he asked curiously before realizing the irony of his question "I mean... if you so wish."

[Ide Amaya]

"There is but little to tell, though I have never shared it before." Her hand remains on his arm and she drains the last of her sake. "I am riding a horse, black as ebony, we are riding hard, at full gallop, the horse's mouth foams and slathers from the exertion. It is the middle of the day, but the light of Lady Amaterasu does not reach me somehow, it is like night."

"In the darkness the shadows twist and writhe, they snap at my steed's hocks like grasping fingers. More than once, the steed stumbles. And then I am running. Everything is exactly the same, but no I am in foot. And ahead of me I see the growing shape of someone I easily recognise. The light is at his back, casting him in shadow, but I would know him anywhere, and I suddenly feel that, if I just reach him, I can be safe."

"He's holding his hand out to me, and I am reaching for him. Our fingers touch an I can finally see his face. He is smiling, but his hand ensnares my wrist and that smile grows into a grin, and that grin gets bigger until it splits his face in two and all you can see are dozens of dritry, spike teeth. I can't pull free of him. The shadows seem to slip off him like living things, crawling up my arm to swallow me."

"But, when I am at my most scared, I look up and that face belongs to my brother again, and he looks down at me, he will save me. Then his face ripples, like a reflection in a pond. His features slide away: his eyes, his nose, the shape of his mouth. All of it disappears. And the thing thing before me opens to maw to swallow me whole." She is breathing heavily as she finishes.

[Matsu Nintoku]

The Lion understood her pain and as the story became more heavy and difficult he tugged on her sleeve in hopes of making her feel safe. Once she finished he nodded in understanding and sighed.

"My dreams are similar," he started to speak in a calm tone. "I am in a field that stretches as far as the eye can see. There is light but the light feels wrong as if whatever was casting it was not of this world. As I move across the field I start to see distant figures to my sides; comrades that once fought by my side. I can not reach them and if I try to call them no voice comes from me."

"Then it starts. I turn around and the field is filled with enemies. They lunge at me and I cut them down, their blood filling the field. I know these enemies, I have already killed them all and in my dreams I kill them again. My comrades scream, their lives also snuffed out as I keep on fighting the blood gathering in the fields."

"The enemies never stop coming and I do not stop killing them over and over. When I realize their blood reaches my waist and I grow tired. In the distance I see," he paused and sighed "In the distance I see some of my younger comrades. They are scared. I try to reach them but I trip and once I trip I fall into the blood. The blood is deeper and darker and I can not swim upwards. I try to grasp blindly at the surface but there is nowhere where I can grab onto."

"Every night I relive this," he finally sentenced as he took his cup and downed it. He felt nervous and lighter at the same time.

[Ide Amaya]

Her breath chokes in her throat as she unwillingly imagines drowning in blood. Her fingers slide down his sleeve to rest on the back of his hand, she holds it gently, and her flesh is cool against his from being soaked through twice in one night. "I'm so very sorry, Nintoku-Sama," she whispers, and picks up his sake bottle, pulling the cork with her teeth and filling their cups once more.

[Matsu Nintoku]

He recoiled slightly at her touch before relaxing. He placed his hand on hers grasping in gently and locking his eyes with hers, a small smile surfacing.

[Ide Amaya]

Smiling softly, she holds his eyes and takes a sip of sake. "You are a good man, Nintoku-Sama, and this burden placed upon you is a cruel one. But I am grateful that you survived the trials in your path, to be here, so that I might meet you."

[Matsu Nintoku]

He shook his head "These trials are but a burden every warrior must carry," he took a sip of his sake, his hand still gently grasping hers. "Now you know I.. Amaya-san."

His eyes shifted to the fire; the absence of additional kindling had made it lower in intensity. "I should reignite the fire," he turned back to her "Are you cold Amaya-san?"