Why? (D8, LE, expecting)

[Shinjo Liu Yue]

"I am not sure," Yue admitted. She wiped away her eyes and stepped a bit closer to the Soshi. "I thought I would go unnoticed by any man or woman at this miai. However, that is clearly not the case.

"I still do not know who I am to wed. I cannot swear to you unless I know we are to be wed."

She let out a groan at her own expense. Now I'm making excuses.

"I want to be a good wife. However, perhaps I am unable to be one." She let out a solemn sigh. "I want to be devoted to my husband when the time comes. I do care about you, Taira-dono. However, I may never love you the way you wish me to. That truth hurts me dearly."

[Soshi Taira]

"Of course you cannot swear and yet, I didn't sing because I didn't want to pressure you... and then..."

A soft sigh, and he looked at his finger, pondering the blood running down his hand.

"I have spent my life maintaining my honor, refusing attachments which would hinder my eventual marriage. I don't want to be your jailer by demanding what you can't give, by watching you desire something else..."

After a moment to gather his wits, he said, softly, "I don't... I don't know what to think anymore."

[Shinjo Liu Yue]

"Under your logic, any man will be my jailer. I do not see it as so, Taira-dono." She looked at his fingers and proud. "You are a doctor. You know not to let the wound run." She pulled out her own medical bag and looked for acceptance.

"Desire is a sin, Taira-dono. I have faltered but I do not wish to be disloyal to you."

[Soshi Taira]

"This wound is less important..."

With a soft sigh, he sat, back against the rim of the crater.

"But yes, I should bind it."

Gazing up at the sky, he added, as his hands went to the satchel he always wore. "If you chose me, I would do my very best to be a good husband for you... you don't need to worry about that."

[Shinjo Liu Yue]

Yue let out a sigh and placed her medical bag away. "I know that," she said, in regards to his duty as a husband. "I am not worried about that. I am worried about hurting you. I am worried about what you want. I am simply worried."

[Soshi Taira]

Taira laughed.

"Aren't we all?"

It was a pained, miserable sort of laugh. "I no longer know if being together or apart would hurt worse. I no longer know what duty demands. I no longer know who the wisest selection would be for you..."

Drawing a bandage from his bag, he tore it with his teeth, grumpily wrapping it about the tip of his index finger, stemming the blood.

He would clean it out later.

"I will adapt to whatever happens, in the end. I have no choice, this was what my lord sent me to do, yet for the first time... I'm homesick. I'm not sure this is where I want to stay anymore."

[Shinjo Liu Yue]

"I am not sure if there is a wisest choice, Taira-dono. I am beginning to envy those who have their marriages arranged by the nakodo." She looked at her reflection in the pond and scowled. Her makeup was assuredly a mess and she was unsure if using the water was a good idea. "I liked hearing about your home. I understand why you would miss it."

[Soshi Taira]

If he minded her make-up being off, he didn't show it.

"It would simplify things for you. I know now that I will have no say in the outcome. I'll make do... I'll do my best. I'll do my duty no matter what happens."

A soft sigh. "I guess... I just had an idealistic view of your clan, and reality has broken that. Now I know that wherever I go, people don't change."

[Shinjo Liu Yue]

"That does not make it simpler. I only want to choose you if you wish me to." She looked back up to him, with her makeup all drenched down her face. "Do not let me mar the reputation of my Clan, Taira-dono."

[Soshi Taira]

"That... your song was only a fragment of that."

He laughed darkly. "The obstinacy of the Moto, ignoring all of my counsel and treating with powers beyond her... she is fortunate to be alive. If this refusal to learn carries on much longer, I fear for the future of the Unicorn."

[Shinjo Liu Yue]

"What are you talking about? Why would the future of my Clan be in jeopardy?"

[Soshi Taira]

Taira looked at her.

"I suppose is is just hearsay, but I've heard that some of your kin ignored my warnings and went to speak with a champion of darkness. I couldn't get a clear answer yes or no... I suppose it isn't mine to say. Ask Moto Khulun, and get, perhaps, a more honest answer than I did."

[Shinjo Liu Yue]

"A champion of darkness? What are you talking about, Taira-dono?"

[Soshi Taira]

"It's just rumor I guess... but earlier in the miai Moto Khulun had gotten a trinket... a relic of lady shinjo, from a self-proclaimed champion of Jigoku. She expressed that she would meet him to hear what he wanted."

Taira studied his bandaged hand. "Rumor is, she did. I asked and she took offense with my rudeness."

Looking at Yue, he said, softly, "I have tried to do the right thing. Time and again, and this is the result. A fool of a man sitting by a pool, hands shaking from the presence of a puddle, and talking about monsters and love."

With a helpless shrug, he admitted. "I'm out of my depth."

[Shinjo Liu Yue]

"Jigoku? What?!" She looked at him, absolutely flabbergasted. "What are they doing?!" She continued to curse a bit more in Mekhem before she reached for Taira's shoulder. "Let us not worry about our potential marriage. Taira-dono, you speak of a terrible thing."